As I go through this thing called life and everyday it is something new, I ask almost daily.. What’s Next? I seem to be in an ever constant flux and change these days. Do I keep doing what I am doing? Do I give things up that just aren’t worth my time or effort anymore? Do I just keep plugging away and hope for a better outcome? Lots and lots of questions run through my head each and everyday.
I struggle A LOT with many things. I struggle with my health everyday. Between my food issues, the headaches, the constant pain there are many a day that I just don’t want to crawl out of bed. I never know just how I am going to feel even on an hour by hour basis. I struggle with eating the way I know I should to help the pain because life is just so busy and honestly I hate cooking. I do it because I have to but really don’t like it. And with all the food issues I do have, I really should be cooking every meal. Eating out is guaranteed that I will react in some way to the food and just keep my inflammation going. I wish I had answers to everything that is going on with my body, but that would cost so much money and many many tests to figure it all out. So what’s next? I need to cow to myself to get on a plan with my eating so that I can keep the pain and brain fog at bay as much as possible. I just want to feel like a normal person, but I will never be able to eat what I want again. I need to follow a more strict diet and I think in turn my health would improve. It is just so frustrating.
I struggle with what to do with this blog daily as well. I love blogging and love the outlet that it has provided me over 6 years now. I love the opportunities and the friendships that have come from starting this blog and it has helped me overcome my shyness in so many ways. I have gained confidence in who I am as far as I don’t need to be that wallflower anymore. But the words just don’t flow like they used to. The motivation to work on projects with companies just isn’t there all the time. The inspiration to turn an everyday product into a new creation just isn’t coming. I do feel that maybe I took on too many projects that really I don’t have a passion for so it burnt me out and maybe I just needed this time off to regroup. Like this morning, I just felt a need to come here and write my thoughts out and really share more about me and my life than here is something I made, go do it yourself kind of thing. This is something I feel more apt to do is sharing with you all who I really am. Becoming more personal, then the sponsored content can be weaved in and I can be more picky about what I write about and share with you. I would much rather spend my time on things that are valuable and have meaning than writing just because we need some money in the bank.
I struggle with my new business of LuLaRoe. I love it and am so passionate about the clothes and what they can do to transform the way women feel and look on an everyday basis. LuLaRoe has helped change the way I see my own self and has gotten me to care about my appearances again. The clothes are flattering, crazy comfortable, and all around amazing. What I struggle with is just the upstart of something new and learning the ropes. It is a lot to take on selling clothes in new ways each day. Letting the creative juices flow when it comes to marketing them, coming up with outfits, and the everyday business of it all. I have poured many hours into it already and it is paying off, but slowly so that has meant that not as much money has gone into our bank account but back into the business. I know it is all a learning and adjustment process and time period that I am in now. I also see that the hard work that I have already put in is starting to pay off. I am growing a team of ladies under me that love the clothes as much as I do. I am finding even more new friends to share LuLaroe with and meeting others in my community that I had never met before. I am the mot excited about this new chapter and fully believe it is the change I need to have a shift for our family and provide me the opportunity to help my family financially more than I ever have.
I struggle with keeping it all straight. Ever since I had cervical cancer, my memory is horrible. I used to be so organized and on top of things and now I am constantly forgetting so many things. It frustrates me to no end to have to always be saying “I forgot”. Some may not believe me, but I promise it is true. I just want my brain to work how I want it to not how this broken body is working. Some of that could definitely be helped if I get my food in order and in turn can help clear my mind a bit. You should see my “office” at the dining room table now. It is a cluttered mess that I am sure doesn’t help my daily anxiety issues. My goal for this week is to get it cleaned up, get my papers and junk in order, and have a plan to keep it that way. I want my house to be clean and ready for people to stop by whenever without me having to say excuse the mess.. That is not me and I don’t like the mess!
There are many more things that I struggle with on a daily basis. The question of What’s Next has so many meanings for me. If you have stuck around this long to read I thank you. Thank you for letting me air my thoughts even if they are a bit jumbled. I want this blog to be more than me just telling you about products or services I am using that day. I want it to really be about this life I am living as a PTA Soccer Mom that drives a minivan(for now) haha. This is my Soccer Mom Life!!!