Just over three years ago, my world came crumbling down. I got a diagnosis of cancer and instantly became numb. What did that mean, what was going to happen to me, what was going to happen to my kids and husband??? So many questions. I felt at that moment that I had hit rock bottom.
The surgery of a full hysterectomy was a huge hit and one that had me down for quite some time from the pain and healing. Who knew that getting your insides taken out could cause that much pain? Who knew that at 32 I would be in instant menopause? Say what??!! This wasn’t supposed to be something I had to deal with for many many years. Then the decision had to be made of what is the next step. They “thought” they got all of the cancer with the surgery, but there could be a possibility that it could spread. I didn’t want to take that risk and opted for radiation and chemo.
Just when I thought life couldn’t get any lower all of the side effects and lowness came. I had next to no energy except for chemo days since I got the best meds for nausea that day. Tiara Tuesday as we called it. It was 6 weeks of daily doctor visits. It was all very draining. My body was sucked of life. I wasn’t even on the high dosage of chemo, but it wrecked havoc on my body that I am still dealing with to this day. That is why now my heart breaks and gets so heavy when I hear of another person with cancer. I hate that word! I hate the disease!
It has been years of adjustment, years of changes, years now…. Cancer changed me. In a lot of ways for the better as I have more courage now. I talk to people more and open myself to new friendships and opportunities. I hate the physical changes it has caused in me. Chronic pain, chronic food issues…. It wears on a person. While I am no longer at rock bottom as I survived cancer, there are times when I just get so mad that cancer is part of my past. Part of my history that I cannot change.
I am thankful for those who stood by me, those who were there on the worst of days, and now even still support me in all m business and blogging adventures. Without them I wouldn’t be here and wouldn’t be able to do what I do each and every day. They give me the strength to keep going. I am thankful that I am no longer rock bottom as I was three years ago. I will do what I can to make the rest of my time here on earth fruitful. I don’t want to look back and see that I wasted my second chance at life.
Thank you for reading a story from #BehindTheBlogger Hop. Every 2 weeks a group of bloggers is given a writing prompt. These prompts are very open ended, so our bloggers can write about whatever they desire. The main rule is that their blog post directly relates to the topic of that week. The point of this hop is for our readers to get to know us on a personal level.
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