Not the “C” Word….

I admit I have been pretty absent lately, besides being busy with my kids this summer my mind has been preoccupied with lots of things and stress and I haven’t been able to get nearly as much blogging done as I was hoping to this summer. So why so distracted?

Well, I have known for awhile now that something wasn’t quite right down in my lady parts. I had not gone to the girly doctor in 3 years because lets face it, who really enjoys going there. With having 4 kids around during the school year, I really just didn’t have the time to be going to the doctor for myself though I did want to find out what could possibly be going on “down there”.

In the more recent months I could tell that things were progressively getting worse so I couldn’t put off going to the doctor any longer. I could actually feel something in the way when I would go to the bathroom. So I scheduled an appointment with my regular OB/GYN to get my yearly and see what she thought might be going on, if it was just an infection or what…..

When she examined me, she was really concerned about what she saw and took a small biopsy. The results came back with A-typical cells, possibly cancerous so they needed to do a bigger biopsy. She referred me to a gynecologic oncologist. That appointment was about 2 weeks after my first one and the stress and worry started to set in.

I first talked with the new doctor before she examined me just to get a feel for why I was there. During the exam, I could tell that she was worried and already had a clue as to what was going on. I went back in to her office and by the look on her face you would have thought the world was ending. She was pretty sure I had Cervical Cancer even without the results from the biopsy back. It was quite a shock to actually hear the words come out of her mouth. I cried but not much, to be honest I knew it was bad and really didn’t expect those words to come out of her mouth, but all I could think about was my hubby and kids and how I needed to be around for them and be strong.

Almost a week later, we finally got the results of the biopsy and it came back as definitely cancerous. The next step was a PET scan to see the extent of the tumor and to see if it had possibly spread. I had the PET scan done about two days later and waited again to hear the results. My doctor hadn’t called by Friday so I called before they closed early and after briefly looking over my scans, she doesn’t believe that the cancer has spread. She wanted to further look over the scan and I guess see what we should do next.

My next appointment is this Thursday to go over the results and to hopefully get a plan in place on what is next for me. I am assuming I will have surgery and that it will probably be next week. I am hoping that it will be next week. Now that I know what is going on, I want this out of me!!! I am done having kids so I am good with them taking whatever they need to out of there 🙂

The waiting has probably been the hardest part of it all. It just makes me anxious and on edge because I just want a plan. I am not good at waiting on other people!!!! I feel like at this point I am in sort of limbo until we hear what the plan is going to be. I feel like I have to almost put my life on hold. I want to plan things for the kids, but I don’t know what is next. If I have surgery, how long will I be out.. how long will recovery be.. will I have to have chemo or radiation.. If so, how will that affect me and my ability to take care of my family.

I am somewhat scared, but really I just want to get this out of me and get on with life. I want to be strong for my kids and family and myself. If I let myself become a sappy mess, then who will that really help.. No one.. I am sure I am going to have some “down” times in this journey, but for now I want to live my life as I normally would. I am still running some which is helping to deal with the stress, plus it will help that the rest of my body is stronger to heal from all of this more quickly.

I know this is just another chapter in my story book and I want to make sure it is  memorable and that I grow and learn from it and hopefully help out others with my story. I will not let this defeat me!!!!! I know that I have family and friends and GOD supporting me all the way through this.

I plan on keeping you all updated about my journey and what happens to me while we are kicking cancers booty. I ask that you keep me and my family in your prayers and good thoughts! This is just the beginning. Thank you all for your support!